Just about any time immediately after a divorce can be hard, but it doesn't have to be. You can make it through this couple-centric month and emerge happier and more fulfilled on the other side. How? Just practice these 5 self-care tips:
1) Put on your own oxygen mask first. There's a reason why the safety instructions before your flight always instruct you to put on your own oxygen mask first before helping others. You won't be able to take care of other if you're not taking care of yourself first. It may initially be difficult to put yourself first and foremost before all of the numerous people who rely on you for their oxygen. The bottom line is that you must, because otherwise, you won't have much left of yourself to give.
2) Go back to kindergarten. Metaphorically speaking, of course. Remember that in kindergarten, you had a lot of structure, balance, and naps with healthy meals, plenty of outdoor time, time to play, time to explore, and time to rest quietly. Get plenty of sleep, go outside and explore, eat healthy meals, and play. Give yourself the number one job of rediscovering your world and taking care of yourself.
3) Accept help. Chances are your friends are itching to help you get yourself into a new groove. Allow them to help you. Take them up on their invitations to go places or for meals. If they ask you how you are doing and they are genuinely interested in the answer, consider actually sharing with them your troubles or concerns. Just the act of sharing a fear or stress with someone else can make it lighter and less of a burden.
4) Be kind to yourself. We all have the inner voice that is critical and very disapproving. This voice is probably working overtime right now. It is deceptively simple to get into a rut of constant negative self-talk. Do yourself a favor and don't listen to them. Consider a neat trick which is to think about yourself in the third person as a person who you are caring for. You can be honest about the person's faults, but not disparaging or hurtful. You can be kind.
5) Remember, this too shall pass. People in stressful situations in their lives often get tunnel vision seeing only the one foot they are putting in front of another. It is a coping mechanism, a way to honor Churchill's adage, “If you are going through hell, keep going.” If you find yourself in this place or have difficulty seeing past the current gray day, remember that this too shall pass. The sun will shine, the flowers will bloom, and you will find yourself enjoying more and more moments of happiness in the new normal.
If you are going through a divorce or other family law issue, another fantastic way to take care of yourself is to have a strong and compassionate attorney on your side. Regina Taylor can be that attorney standing beside you and helping you get the best possible outcome to help you get back on your feet and start fresh. Contact us today to get started.
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