We've all heard the saying, “It's not an end, it's a new beginning.” During the earliest days after divorce, we typically face so many changes and challenges that we don't feel adventurous at all. This is completely normal: a major chapter in your life has closed.
After giving yourself permission to grieve, use the tips below to reinvent yourself and realize your potential in a way that might previously have been impossible. New beginnings can be exhilarating if you let them.
Allow Yourself to Let Go
Holding onto bitterness and anger may make you feel powerful, but it's also holding you back. Ask yourself: are these hostile thoughts actually helping you feel better? Will fantasies of retaliation change what happened? The answer in both instances is no. As comedian Buddy Hackett once said, “I never hold a grudge because while I‘m being angry, the other person is out dancing.” Learn from the past, but don't let it prevent you from moving on.
Join a Support Group
Yes, there is strength in numbers. There's also comfort, too. Divorce support groups allow you to meet other people who are in the midst of the process or have gone through it and thrived as a result. You can air your feelings in a supportive environment and get the encouragement needed to start over. DivorceCare, www.divorcecare.org, is one support group,
Decide what you want to do or even who you want to be and go from there. Establish detailed goals and break each one down into smaller, easily accomplished steps. For example, if you want to finish your college degree, spend some time choosing a school, reviewing the application process, and investigating financing. Then make sure that you apply. Planning and setting goals is great, but action must follow.
Rediscover Your Old Hobbies
When we marry and blend our lives with someone else, we tend to lose segments of our single selves. Were you a writer before you got married? Consider starting a blog or diary, writing for websites, or penning articles for a community newspaper. You'll feel rejuvenated as you reconnect with your old self.
Moving forward requires you to focus on yourself. Envision the terrific and empowered new person you want to be, and then take action. This is a time in your life to discover the real you, and should be embraced like the adventure it truly is.
If you have made the decision to divorce, contact us today. We can provide you with the legal guidance and personal support needed to open a new chapter in your life.